Who knew that boarding the bus could come with so many rules…
1.You must try your hardest to have the correct amount of change….bus drivers hate people who give them a crisp £20 for a measly £2 ticket…don’t be a fool!
2. If there’s an idiot with a bag on an empty seat…sit on this seat even if there is a two seater free. These people need to learn a lesson about #BusEtiquette.
3. If there’s an idiot sat in an aisle seat with the window seat free…make a huge deal to get to that inside seat.
4. Always move off your seat for an oldie…and never sit in their seats at the front unless you are in real desperate need to sit down.
5. People with young children should avoid using the bus at ‘peak times’. These times are 6am-7:30am and after 6pm at night…these times are when workers are either struggling to wake up or keep theirs open…the last thing they need is to hear screaming or even talking children.
6. Always and I mean always avoid the last bus especially on a Friday and Saturday night….this is when the drunkards are on route home.
7. Avoid bringing food onto the bus if possible especially if it includes; pasties, KFC or a Maccy D’s…any smelly food is frowned upon…some people are disgusted by these ‘unhealthy’ offerings others will be drooling at the sheer smell of them.
8. If the bus you are waiting for is late…always converse with your fellow bus riders and moan together about the ‘bloody bus company!’
9. Late buses are always the fault of driver…traffic, accident, road works- nope its ALWAYS the drivers fault!
10. If your music can be heard by the people if front, behind or to the side of you…it’s too loud!
11. If you prematurely press the button to get off before your stop its vital you get off at that stop…no one wants the whole bus to realise what a fool they’ve been.
12. Always get up straight after pressing the bell to stop and make your way to the front…the thrill of knowing you might fall over as the bus hurtles around a roundabout is part of the excitement of the bus journey.
13. Avoid eye contact with anyone on the bus…you don’t want to accidently start engaging with a ‘crazy’.
14. If people bring dogs on the bus there’s two ways to deal with this; if you like dogs then engage in stroking the pup and start conversing with both pup and owner. If you don’t like dogs avoid all eye contact with said dog and locate nearest escape route-dog may attack you at any moment so be prepared…this advice goes for dogs from Pugs to German Shepherd’s.
Any others you can think of to add?