Uglyies, Fatties and Oldies Unite!!

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Right guys so us average Joe’s are apparently not cool enough, not beautiful enough and definitely not thin enough to shop in  Abercrombie and Fitch.What? I here you say…..

So it’s been in the news a lot this week, the CEO of Abercrombie & Fitch Mike Jeffries believes that only beautiful people who are thin and ‘cool’ should be allowed to shop in their  stores.

So I have been thinking payback is a bitch….

The plan….

  1. Go to Primarni and purchase a ‘dork’ or ‘nerd’ t-shirt…
  2. Find your local Abercrombie and Fitch store….
  3. Strut your uncool ass into the store wearing your t-shirt and have a really long browse….
  4. If you are a larger lady ask numerous times if they have items in larger than a size 16….. ( and when I say numerous I mean between 5-10 times)
  5. If you are an older lady ask the sales assistant numerous times if you are too old to be wearing the items you pick up.
  6. Ask the sales assistant ‘how does it feel to be so beautiful?’
  7. Whisper to the sales assistant you could smuggle them in a Maccy D’s if they want.
  8. Try on a piece of clothing that is too small for you….walk out and tell the changing room assistant how amazing you look but you need a smaller size.
  9. Take a list of reasons why you are cool and give them to the  manager
  10. Ask the sales assistant for a picture, look at it and say ‘ Well done you’ve only gone and ruined a perfectly good picture of me’ walk off huffing…
  11. Ask to speak the manager and tell them you don’t want to alarm them but  ‘An ugly has just entered the building’…pointing to another customer.
  12. Casually sing ‘Beautiful’ by Christina Aguilera to yourself whilst walking around the store.

Plan completed.

So if you have the balls or a store near you give it go and let me know how it goes…

If your not sure what the hell I am going on about here’s a snippet of some of the things that CEO Mike Jeffries has said…

“That’s why we hire good-looking people in our stores. Because good-looking people attract other good-looking people, and we want to market to cool, good-looking people.

“A lot of people don’t belong [in our clothes], and they can’t belong.”

“Candidly, we go after the cool kids. We go after the attractive all-American kid with a great attitude and a lot of friends. A lot of people don’t belong [in our clothes], and they can’t belong”

“Abercrombie is only interested in people with washboard stomachs who look like they’re about to jump on a surfboard”

“I don’t want our core customers to see people who aren’t as hot as them wearing our clothing.”

“I think that what we represent sexually is healthy. It’s playful. It’s not dark. It’s not degrading! And it’s not gay, and it’s not straight, and it’s not black, and it’s not white. It’s not about any labels. That would be cynical, and we’re not cynical! It’s all depicting this wonderful camaraderie, friendship, and playfulness that exist in this generation and, candidly, does not exist in the older generation.”

The crap that man is spouting is unbelievable also the fact that he himself is ugly is even worse. He has obviously had plastic surgery which has gone incredibly wrong. Are we dealing with the backlash of someone who was bullied at school, a child who wasn’t popular and cool and is now punishing the rest of us? He has obviously had plastic surgery to try and be beautiful and fit in with the cool crowd, which obviously judging by his face didn’t work.

 We shouldn’t have to try and fit in; we are all beautiful and unique in our own way. No wonder there are so many people who have issues with the way they look when we are constantly bombarded with this ‘ideal body’ crap. Can people stop judging us by how we look, and instead by who we are!

Abercrombie and Fitch may only employ beautiful, thin and cool people to work in their stores but these people are only that according to them.

‘Beauty is in the eye of the beholder’ and I would rather be ‘me’ than a clone of an Abercrombie and Fitch employee.

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